?

Log in

< back | 0 - 10 |  
Mallory [userpic]

(no subject)

November 12th, 2010 (11:53 pm)

 

Chapter 1 – Tex's POV

It must have been around twelve AM last night that I felt something happening inside me, something I couldn't describe. We had been worked really hard that day and I had been far too tired to shower. And hadn't I told Carolina, “You don't get anything out of getting yourself talked to n the field. You owe yourself some self-respect, and these schmucks can't give you any of that.”

Besides, I already knew enough about the Freelancer Program, and more importantly about the kinds of people they accepted. And then all the drinking I did – it was hard enough getting back to my room after that, and it's never been easy for me to say “no” in the first place, especially to someone who looked as good as he did (oh, Jesus, I don't even know his name! Illinois? Michigan? Even so, it's not like that was his real name anyway). “The day after next, I promise,” I told him, “after I've done enough sobering up.” But god, looking back on it now, what was I thinking? He had long, ghostly fingers and a British accent. I could tell he had smoked long enough, his teeth were a telltale sign (unless it was just that limey dental stereotype) and he was drinking cheap whiskey. Definitely wasn't Church.

Oh my god, Church. Sometimes I totally forget about him. Poor guy, I wonder how he's doing sometimes. They brought me to a whole new facility, one with higher walls and more security. I think my chances of seeing him are smaller now than they were when we first shipped out to basics.

And I had to get a physical today, and that old man of a doctor of mine. I don't know, he seems kind of off to me, like he feels like he's afraid he's going to lose his job any day. Maybe they didn't realize how much funding this program required. I mean, how much do they need to pay the security guards? How much training did those guys need? And I heard we are to get special armor and special attributes of some kind. They did not tell me much, they are afraid we might drop out (even though they told us it was a one-way-ticket when we signed up and this whole thing was very confidential). They worked us like dogs and made us run until I was sure my lungs would cave in, made us do so many push-ups and pull-ups until I was sure my arms would give out, made us do so many psychological tests that I was sure my head would explode.

So tonight I went straight to my bunk and into bed, and I didn't take a shower or wash my hair. And I lied there with my whole body asleep but my eyes still open, looking out my small-as-sin window and something wondering if Church were here would he still call me beautiful. Not that it matters all that much to me, but sometimes I feel as if he were the only person I ever could and ever would love. I heard some of the others in the next room over uproariously laugh, something that told me I knew there was somehow camaraderie, and that was when I started feeling what it was that was growing inside my soul. Like I wanted to get up and join them, or that I wanted to grab my own bottle from my nightstand, or that I wanted to write and somehow get my thoughts somewhere, anywhere. And I knew there was something different about me, and Church knew it too, and so did that limey guy from last night after he followed me to my bunk and I knocked him to the floor. I'm not like Carolina or any of the other girls here, or any other girl I've ever met, who never seem to have anything wonderful about them like I do, and at the end of the day look in a mirror and do not need reinforcement that they are lovely women. And to boot, I find I speak a bit more eloquently than most of the people here (particularly Maine, who is a walking stereotype in so many ways) and although I can embrace this fact I find the collective personality of the others here nothing short of embarrassing. How am I to find brotherhood and camaraderie in this place if I cannot relate to a single one of them, if I am not a man or a woman, if I am neither eloquent nor stupid nor rambunctious nor introverted.

And so I decided I would begin to write things down, because of how unusual I feel in comparison to the rest, perhaps above and perhaps better. Not like a diary or anything, I'm not twelve. But I want to write like my mind flows. I want to write like I feel, because the only confidant I ever had I don't anymore. I feel bad now for shutting him out like I did. But when I read this later, maybe I will feel like there was something about me that I maybe didn't like after all and something about them that I did. So now I'm sitting on my bunk in my pajamas, and I just looked at myself naked in the mirror, and everything about me is just the way I would like it to be. Except, my right bicep is slightly bigger than my left, but only a little. And the tattoo I got my first day is beginning to peel because I keep forgetting to get lotion for it.

And I guess it will be good for me to write without censor boundary for a change, not that ridiculous stuff they make you write in high school – my high school composition teachers would always tell me I didn't know how to use transitions or punctuation very well, and that one time it came from a guy that you could tell was cheating on his wife – he acted so dodge-y all the time, but I never thought much about my teachers or anything like that, it's not like I ever knew one personally in my family or anything. More importantly it's not like being a teacher these days does any good for the family pocketbook – I saw the kinds of clothes they always wore, and not that I'm a fashionista by any means but I can't help but notice.

And that Midwest guy? I'm thinking about him again, but he was so charming in the way that he talked, if I remember right. And he was attractive, and there's something about men with an accent. But if he's in this program, too, there's no way I'll get what I need out of it. Oh, I can smell trouble for Alison already, especially if he keeps winking at me and giving me sensual looks the way he does, and I'm already kind of tired of it. I think if I give him another punch to that jaw of his I can keep him off my back for another few weeks, tell him I have Church to think about and he is so strict that there are no excuses for deviating. Certainly not the case, but I don't even know this guy's name so there's no way he knows anything about me in the first place. And besides, I don't think it's a good idea to get any kind of feelings for any of the guys here, knowing that they have a process for selecting people for this program like they do and I'm sure the type of guys here are not the best. And like I told Carolina, “Ther has to be something in your heart, otherwise it throws our dreams right out the window.”

But that Carolina, she's that type, I know what I'm talking about, and she's sure to do something stupid. Get drunk and have sex with a number of the guys here. And she's so pretty I fear she's got something going on like I do with that limey guy, and she's just that lovely to where she would actually give in ton an assortment of advances.

I'm very tired. So, at this point I think I will go to bed. Ah, but I seem to have forgotten the most obligatory things to write in this sort of writing. My name is Tex, that's what they've been calling me here, and that's what I go by. And I'm red-haired and a Christian, and here by choice which isn't something that a few of the others here can say. And this is a cute little book I found in a quaint little shop (which had really good coffee, if I remember correctly) and it's black like my armor, and that's the way I like it.

Mallory [userpic]

"A Nation of Whiners"?

July 11th, 2008 (11:25 am)
pissed off

current location: Gramma's house
current mood: pissed off
current song: Jeremy just called the dog a "Fatty".

So, Phillip Gramm, some economic advisor for the white house who has a doctorate in economics, told The Washington Times that the United States was "a nation of whiners" in a "mental recession."


"We have sort of become a nation of whiners," Gramm told the Times. "You just hear this constant whining, complaining about a loss of competitiveness, America in decline. ... You've heard of mental depression. This is a mental recession."



... What?


Wait, WHAT? You are you FUCKING joking me?


Gas costs 5 dollars a gallon; the housing industry down the tubes; people cock their eyebrows at a 600 dollar stiumuls check the government sends us, wondering what the FUCK we can possibly do with "so little money"; Social Security picks on people like my mother and I simply to be assbags, and this D-bag thinks we're WHINING?


Oh my god. And this douche is supposed to be Treasurer if McCain wins the election.



FUCK. THAT.



I bet this bastard thinks the War in Iraq is "all in our minds", too.

Mallory [userpic]

(no subject)

January 11th, 2008 (11:10 pm)




FRIENDS ONLY.



Please leave a comment stating that you would like to be my friend and why. :3

I really do like meeting people and making friends, I won't bite~ n___n

Mallory [userpic]

MUY IMPORTANTE!!

January 6th, 2008 (08:24 pm)

For those of you who digg my icon journal, stressballs_ltd, I'm trying to organize my image storage over at Photobucket and majority of my images over there will be broken for a short time until I can fix the urls. Thank you for your patience and your devotion. <3

Mallory [userpic]

(no subject)

December 23rd, 2007 (08:14 pm)

Only because it wouldn't fit at RvB Slash.


The best freaking christmas EVER.Collapse )

Mallory [userpic]

Words of wisdom.

September 3rd, 2007 (04:15 pm)

"I hereby claim this land in the name of King Emeril of BAM, and Queen Rachel of Yum-o. LONG LIVE THE FOOD NETWORK." -- Alton Brown, Feasting on Asphalt

Mallory [userpic]

(no subject)

June 28th, 2007 (11:33 am)
depressed

current mood: depressed

It's officially over.

That's right. Red Vs Blue: The Blood Gulch Chronicles came out with it's last episode ever approximately 7 hours ago (6/28/07 2:34AM PST). I was still up at that time but didn't bother to go look.

I had to do a little bit of unnecessarry hunting to find the actual episode itself, so here's a link for the episode directly. Be warned that it's really long and pretty heavy, and my computer lagged through half of the motion.

There's closure, so trust me, it's not coming back.


http://rvb.roosterteeth.com/5x100boxy.htm

Mallory [userpic]

(no subject)

June 7th, 2007 (09:48 pm)

So Mr. Langlots or however you spell it got arrested.


HAHA, FUCKER.

Mallory [userpic]

DON'T FUCK WITH THE GULLWINGS... II

June 6th, 2007 (10:39 pm)
current location: house
current mood: AMAZED and PROUD
current song: none

This is precisicely why you don't fuck with the gullwings. I'm just wondering why we didn't think of this sooner.

Mandarkgenius310Collapse )
Professor HawkCollapse )

This next one has a bit of setup.
Session Start: sciencerulesCollapse )
SexyLabMamaCollapse )

Read more...Collapse )

just part of the planCollapse )

Mallory [userpic]

(no subject)

June 3rd, 2007 (07:02 pm)
tired

current mood: tired

So, I went to work this morning and got bitched at by Annette. Apparently I've been taking too many days off and I'm not even a full-time worker, blah. Blah. BLAH. It was just a warning, but nonetheless, not the best way to start off a Sunday, which for the record has become my least favorite day of the week since I started working.

Today was really, really shitty and I ended up taking like 6 tylenol over the course of 6 hours. I know you're probably not supposed to do that, but I really don't care. I had a headache, god dammit.

So then of course I get put in the front (station 4, which has SEVEN tables, and close enough to the front doors to be in fear of having DA VAGIN MAN sit there)which is hell on earth on Sunday anyway. Then I had 24 people barking at me for things when I was in the middle of helping another table, or CARRYING A HEAVY TRAY FULL OF DIRTY DISHES (which is my pet peeve-- not the carrying part, the being-bothered-while-I'm-so-obviously-doing-something-else part). I had a full station and a lot of people, ( 6 x 4 = 24 + 6 = 30 people) but I didn't let it get me down. I really didn't. I kept a smile on my face and a song in my heart.

Until I went back to get (...What was it? 4 iced teas, two soups and three V8s, I think) and mistakingly got 4 lemonades instead of iced teas, which I laughed about because Danielle had just done something similar. Then when I finally got the tea right I carried them over to get the V8, put the tray down on the counter and could do little less than watch in horror as someone bumped into me and the iced teas -- all four of them-- went crashing to the floor, breaking the glasses and getting the tea everywhere.

I almost cried. Not because I broke the glasses and made everyone else's lives inconvinient, but because I had just gotten that order right, and I knew that if I went out there to give the other shit to the people they would scream at me. (I took two tylenol.)

Then a while later, my station is full, and I go out to give someone their food or whatever and someone is continually yelling "Where's my food?". The buffet line, mind you, has been overflowing with people. IT'S SUNDAY. Everyone goes to O 'Neilly terrace on SUNDAY. So the buffet line is slow. I had to explain to this woman that... yes, the buffet line is slow and it is going to take a few minutes. She rolled her eyes at me. (I took two tylenol.)

Then, two fourty three comes, and James comes up to me and goes, "Get Igell to watch your station. You're going on break right now." Which made me smile. I had started muttering and talking to myself, and James probably heard me when I walked by him or when he bused one of my tables. I went and told my ONE PERSON (all of my other people had left)that I was going on break, got Igell to watch my station and went on break.

So I'm eating pleasantly. Having nice conversation with James, Margaret, and Lu. When, suddenly, who comes in? Annette. Apparently, my table(S!) didn't know I was going on break. ... I just had one person a second ago. I told her that, and I told her that I told him that I was going. Did I tell Igell? Yes, I told Igell. I always ask before going on break. She left the room.

Upon coming back from break, I go back to my station and see that I now have three tables. WHAT THE SHIT(I took two tylenol. Not kidding.)

Things went poorly for the rest of the night, and I finally just got to go home. So now here I am. I'm seriously considering befriending a younger roleplayer, and I'm not really sure why. I think, maybe, that I'm tired of being the younest person I know who roleplays? I donno.

And by the way. THIS is bullshit and I'm tired of it. I know a few people I rp with have considered, if not totally acted upon, picking up and moving whatever rp they happen to be in, or even their personal journals. Personally, I hope this Asscrack guy gets canned for this, for he is weilding a power that isn't even his. Secondly, I'm not going to get chased away from LJ simply because some Asscrack and his Asscrack-smoking followers are going crazy and witchunting people, okay? I understand the circumstances and I understand where they are coming from, but a little investigation is necessarry before assuming shit and acting upon it, and I think anyone with a head on their shoulders knows that. Or should know that, rather, since Asscrack and his Asscrack-smoking followers are living proof of the fact that not all people do.

That's like one of my coworkers, who's a bit biblecrazy but nonetheless a nice person. She looks at me and Geoff one day and goes, "So are you guys, like, for child pornography or something?
Me and Geoff: O__O
Me: NO!
Geoff: What the hell makes you say that?
Her: Well, what are you doing to stop it?
Me: Um...
Her: See? And you guys should go get AIDS tested, too.
[She had recently told me about some guy she liked that had a boyfriend, and how she was so happy she didn't end up sleeping with him because then she would have gotten AIDS, and those were her exact words.]
Me: =__=; *goes back to work*
Geoff: *too*

Ugh. So, okay, anyway, I also found out that my BOSS and one of my coworkers were/are really sick. Richard had 93% blockage in one arterie of his heart, and 76% in another, and was really close to a serious heart-attack, he told us. Rozalie has kidney stones, I think, but she's been gone for a week or two. And Karina quit, so I'm gonna miss her.


WORK. ASIDE.


I've been trying to get back on top of my RPs, but it probably won't happen until Wednesday, when I no longer have school to worry about. But I guess that still is work, isn't it? Eh, oh well.

I watched "Turostas" with my mom this weekend. ... It was really, really weird. Very good, but very weird. It was about this guy, his sister, and her friend (Alex, Bea, and Amy) who go to Brazil for vacation. They end up hanging out with one native, two Columbians and three Austrailians (Kiko, Svend, Annicka, and Pru, Finn, and Liam). Like I said, very good. I actually wanna watch it again... My aunt said it was really gorey, but The Descent was much, much worse as far as that goes. Turistas was just like... watching ER, or something.

And, huh. I got back home at 5:30, and my parents said they'd be home in four minutes when I called them. ... It's currently 7:05. ... Word.


Well, I'mmuna find something to do...

< back | 0 - 10 |